A Kid's Eye View

Little kids have always been drawn to Kevin. They like his wheelchair and going for rides in it. They like it when he sits on the floor playing with them, and they like to climb on him. He's down on their level. And Kevin still genuinely likes to play with cars or blocks once in a while.

I have five teenaged cousins who came along when Kevin was in his early to mid 20s. What's been interesting to me is watching as the kids grow from toddlers to teens and they really begin to observe Kevin. As they get to be around 4 or 5, they start to question why Kevin doesn't walk. The simple explanation is that Kevin's legs don't work like ours. And a 5 year old will accept that and move on. That's just how Kevin is.

By about 8 or 9, you can see them watching Kevin, seeing him playing a card game on his own with the other adults, but then needing someone to help him read directions for a board game that the whole family is playing, or maybe he needs help cutting the meat on his dinner plate. Kids get that Kevin is a "grown-up," but something isn't quite the same as with the other adults. As they reach 11 or 12, you see them starting to make little offers of help (maybe with a little prompting), particularly at the dinner table, offering to pour Kevin a drink or helping to serve him some food. They're OK when someone gives Kevin a little extra help playing a game.

Then by 14 and 15, the kids just seem to get it. They start to take a different interest in Kevin, ask how his wheelchair comes apart, watch as I help him transfer into the car things like that. They help bring Kevin in and out of the house, hold his wheelchair if he needs it, move pieces of furniture out of the way so Kevin can get through a narrow space, offer to get him a drink, assist with a game, all the things that he needs a little extra help with, but they understand that Kevin fits in a special category, and they never treat him condescendingly.

What I wonder, sometime, is what Kevin thinks as he sees babies who crawl grow into toddlers who can walk, then run, then drive and such when he can't. I should ask him sometime.