The First Entry

I tell a lot of stories about my brother, Kevin Ware. Usually they're about his reactions in a situation; sometimes just funny things he's said. Most of my friends have heard multiple stories about him, but if I'm talking to people who haven't heard a Kevin story, someone will invariably ask, "How old is your brother?" Then I have to hesitate and backpedal a bit.

Kevin is my younger brother, an adult with cerebral palsy. The technical name for his condition is that he has spastic triplegia; he has full use of one limb (his left arm) and partial use of the other three. He has some developmental delays as well, but he is very high-functioning and very verbal. Ultimately I'll answer, Kevin is 39 going on 15 on some days and 39 going on 53 on other days. Simply put, my brother is disabled.

Then I'll get "The Look." Whoever I am talking to will stop smiling, get a small frown between her eyes, tilt her head to one side, and say softly, "Oh...I'm so sorry." My immediate response is, "There's nothing to be sorry about; he's disabled, not dying." And I'll get back to telling my story.

I've yet to offend anyone with my stories about Kevin, but now that I am putting them out there in cyberspace, it may soon happen. Some of my anecdotes may seem like they're mocking Kevin and making light of his challenges. And sometimes they are, but if a big sister can't tease her younger brother, who else can? He and I have talked about this little project of mine, and he's OK with it.

Life with a disabled sibling offers a different set of challenges than just typical sibling rivalry or affection, but at the end of the day, he's just my brother, and there are plenty of times that he gets a good sock in the arm from me, disability or no.