Kevin Michael Malaprop

I believe one of the reasons that Kevin has always fallen between the cracks in the "system" is because of his verbal strengths. By all physical definitions Kevin is severely and permanently disabled. He can't walk or stand on his own; he only has gross motor use of his right arm and hand; and even his left hand, while his strongest limb, can be a little clumsy at times. He has severe muscular issues and considerable spasticity in his lower body, but Kevin doesn't exhibit the severe facial spasticity that so many people with cerebral palsy have, so when you first meet him, you might think he's only (only) been in a car accident or something and that's why he is in the wheelchair.

No one ever talked down to Kevin when we were growing up, or treated him like he was unable to understand things, so he's developed an excellent vocabulary and as he's gotten older, he's learned (with a little coaching) how to express himself more clearly. (And his phone messages now are usually succinct and often quite delightful.) He has a very dry sense of humor, and he picks up a lot when observing others. He likes to talk and visit, so it may take a little time when conversing with Kevin for it to sink in that his disability is not just physical.

Kevin does have some mental delays (I used to say he was mildly retarded, but I don't want Sarah Palin on my ass, so I won't say that anymore.) There are processing and coping issues, and numbers and money just aren't his thing. Remember "Rain Man"?

Doctor: Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs?
Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.
Doctor: Do you know how much one of those new compact cars costs?
Raymond: 'Bout a hundred dollars.

OK, so Kevin isn't quite that extreme. He has a general grasp of money and numbers. He know that he needs two quarters to get a cup of coffee at his workshop, and he knows that $20.00 is enough to go to the movies. He called me quite excitedly when he first was working and got some of his first paychecks, and the conversation went something like this:

Kevin: I got another check today and it is really good. I made a lot of money.
Laura: Really, how much did you make?
Kevin: I made (reading the numbers on the check) "seven four six two." That's more than last week; I only made sixty-eight last week. That is a lot isn't it?
Laura: Yeah, buddy, that's a lot. That's absolutely great!

And Kevin can get a little mixed up with his vocabulary at times.

When he was living in Washington and I was in California, he or my mom would call a couple of times a week. I got home one night and I was going to give them a call, but I decided to wait a little longer to see if they called first (so the call would be on mom's bill). Sure enough, the phone rang about 15 minutes later. I picked it up and, indeed, it was Kevin.

Kevin: Hello, Laura. How are you?
Laura: I'm good, Kev. This is so funny, I was just going to call you, but you called me first.
Kevin: Yeah, well, I'm a little bit psychopathic.

This past Christmas, I gave him Kelly Clarkson's newest CD. We listened to it a lot when we were driving, particularly blasting and playing "My Life Would Suck Without You" repeatedly. Well one day he got a bee in his bonnet about something, I can't remember exactly what...

Kevin: You know what I will do? I will play that song and say "You Suck!"
Laura: Um, Kev, that's not quite the point of the song.
Kevin: I do not care! It says "suck," so I can play it and that will show them!

Yup, that will show them, Kev. You go get 'em!